Hey! It’s End Times!

So, it looks like the end is nigh. May 21st folks, don’t worry. I got my information from a very reputable information source a.k.a. pretty much the first result that came up in a google search. It’s pretty clear that I am not going to be raptured on up what with all of the heathening I’ve been doing. Then upon further reflection, I thought of what a pain in the ass it would be if I did get raptured. For some reason I just imagine a ton of paperwork. Is that just me?

I am going to be in Spain next week with the parents, and I am confident in the fact that if this jam does go down, we are going to spend those final five months just drinking wine and repeating, “really? I mean seriously? Who the fuck saw that coming? I mean who SANE saw that coming?” So, if this goes down I will be keeping busy in the end of days is what I’m saying. Or perhaps I’m saying the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree? I mean THE apple of course. Thanks Eve, I would love a snack.

Now, the reason why I’m mentioning this at all is twofold. First, I just finished a great book called “Jesus Interrupted” by Bart Ehrman which was a good reminder that many religious folks are really quite sane and intelligent. Others are filled with some fierce fear induced anger and hatred which I really can’t wait for them to get over. Then there are the whackos. Save the date? I mean, I didn’t get God’s evite, so I’m out. So basically it takes all kinds, but go ahead God and come harvest the crazies if you can stand them. It’s your party. The second reason I bring any of this up is that all of the Armageddon, end of the world talk made me realize how far behind I am on getting together my survival skills for the aftermath. I mean, can I fly a plane yet? No. Have I started my roof deck (a.k.a. fire escape) garden yet? No. So in essence all of these crazy train billboards have really been a wake up call for me to get my shit together in preparation for the real end of world event. Most likely zombies.

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