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Dear Ask a Gay,

Do you want Britney and Santana to get together on Glee, or do you think she and Artie should stay together?

Oh hi. Am I going to blog about Glee again? I guess the answer here is yes. I’m not even ashamed of it (I’m a little ashamed of it). Then again I found myself talking about Anne Rice books last night without any sense of irony so I might as well own up to the geek that I am. Anyway, here is an overlong answer to this question.

So, spoiler alert, Artie and Britney’s relationship is in trouble because Artie felt threatened by Santana and called Britney stupid. Meanwhile, Santana isn’t ready to be openly gay. Britney was going to publicly ask Santana to the prom and Santana stood her up. Is all of this emotional turmoil happening to tunes from Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours? Of course it is.

At first glance it might seem like my obvious answer would be that I want Britney to get together with Santana. And I do. Both because I feel like it’s good to show positive lesbian relationships on television and because I’m a gay shipper so I get excited whenever the relationship that I’m rooting for on a show is one that looks at all like my life. It’s a cross between a logical feeling of affirmation obtained from seeing mainstream culture portray lesbians and an illogical feeling that if these two female characters get together then somehow there is hope that in the future I will get to watch less Glee and have more sex. On the other hand Artie is super cute. You don’t believe me? Well watch this then. Slam! Super cute. (I tried to find one where he was in the wheelchair but couldn’t.)

This whole plot line and conundrum obviously made me think of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I was rooting endlessly for Willow to get together with Tara. Who wasn’t? The scene in New Moon Rising when Willow tells Tara that she’s with the person she loves and blows out the candle is amazing. I feel like I’ve gotten lucky because of that scene. On the other hand, before Willow dated Tara, she was totally bisexual. She had a crush on Xander and was in love with Oz—she wasn’t just lying to herself about her true sexual orientation. So, Oz was a really well written character and once again, super cute. When he came back into town able to control his werewolf self, I felt a little torn about what I wanted Willow’s character to do. Then again, it was clear that she had moved on, so it ultimately made sense. When Tara died though, I felt like I would have liked to see Willow continue to be bisexual, but instead she was pretty much all gay. I suppose dating a half-woman, half-snake demon in subsequent comic books  proves that she is open minded, but still pretty gay.

I want Britney to get together with Santana but I want her to continue to be bisexual. I think that it’s important to show that there is the existence of sexual fluidity. Again, I might just want to see this because I have pinned some of my relationship hopes on that idea. I’ve mentioned my attraction to women with a sliding scale of straightness, yes? I think that there is a complexity in relationships between women that isn’t really explored on television.

Which of course made me think of My So Called Life. Okay, that’s a more personal leap but still, who doesn’t want to talk about MSCL a little? It’s important to mention here that when I was was watching My So Called Life I was in love with my straight best friend. She and I obsessively watched every single episode of MSCL and I definitely thought that Jordan Catalano was dreamy. I mean I would have made out with him, why not? I remember thinking that I totally wasn’t gay, I just had a super intense friendship, like Rayanne and Angela. Sometimes women just have really close friendships. When Rayanne and Angela were “broken up” after Rayanne slept with Jordan, I remember how much sense that all made to me. Of course eventually I had to own up to the fact that the thing that set my super intense friendship apart from being just friends is that I wanted to kiss her. When I owned up to that to said friend it actually led to a very strange moment in my life where she said, “I don’t understand, do you mean that you were lying when you said you like Jordan Catalano?” And I wasn’t, I was kind of bisexual. In the end I’m pretty gay actually, but I think the transition of,  “I’m straight, oops, no, I’m bisexual, oh, just kidding, I’m gay,” leads some people to think that bisexuality is just a stepping stone between straight and gay and in the end although it can be, I don’t think it always is.

So in conclusion, Britney should make out with Santana because people, I need this—but Artie is probably the more stable relationship there. He’s nicer and more self-accepting and less manipulative so in the end she should work that out.

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