I often hear anti-gay commentators and politicians refer to the “Gay Lifestyle” or “Alternate Lifestyle”. Also there is often a strong implication that people who “choose” this “lifestyle” try to indoctrinate others. This is often given as a reason why gays can’t be teachers. Shouldn’t there be a strong effort to convince people that homosexuals don’t “choose” this and it’s not just a “style”? Does it annoy you when you hear homosexuality referred to in this way?
Well, the title of this entry is going to piss people off. Don’t worry though, it’s just an example of Alt Comedy. And while I write this I will listen to some Alt Music. Let me put on “The Killers”. Then instead of taking aspirin, I am going to call my acupuncture specialist. Okay now. I am officially living an Alternative Lifestyle. Because of the comedy, the music choices, the whacky Asian medicinal techniques, and of course also the gay sex.
It is interesting that there is a gay lifestyle but there isn’t really a straight lifestyle. Also, if being gay is one alternative then in a way being straight is another, so now we are all living lifestyle alternatives. It is annoying to hear homosexuality referred to as a “style”. It is also annoying to me that homosexuals have to come out to people. Maybe being a homosexual begins to seem like something of a lifestyle choice because it involves so much announcing. It becomes such a big topic of conversation that I could almost start a blog about it. Hmmm….
Of course being gay is not a choice. Go to some reputable medical journals and read about it. It isn’t a choice. It also doesn’t have any affect on your adopted kids, your non-adopted kids, teachers won’t turn students gay, and most molesters are straight white men. The studies have been done. Articles have been written. The facts are out there and I could go door to door like a Mormon about it. Sometimes I wonder if that wouldn’t be an interesting project. I think that it’s an easier story to swallow. No magic stones, no great white God of ancient America. Just academic studies with facts and graphs. And that is the problem.
Americans don’t trust science. Okay, some Americans trust science, but a lot don’t. Academic studies? People don’t like them. This is a country that believes in Intelligent design, that global warming is made up, that lunchables are food… It’s hard to sell science. Especially science that says things like, “gay people are just born that way” or “gay people don’t really cause any developmental issues by interacting with kids”. When “science” says stuff like, “scientists turn fruitflies gay and then straight again!” (thank you Fox “news”) that is when people are all ears. Why? Because that is when science sounds like magic and people like magic. I would do better going door to door with a magical elixir that can turn you straight in 7-10 days, than I would striking the pavement with the JAMA. Sounds jaded, but sadly, I think it’s true. Also, if I tried to tell everyone that being gay was scientifically proven to be biological and okay, then people would just think I was trying to indoctrinate people and get them to buy into the gay lifestyle. It’s still important to get the scientific info out there, but it will be a slow process getting people to believe it. The Catholic Church forgave Galileo in 1992. Change is slow.
Here is what I will offer up. I’m gay. Churches of the world please pray for me! Pray me straight. Why not? What do I care if it works? If you pray me straight then for me I’ll just wake up tomorrow with different dating choices…and a new topic for a blog.