Jessica Sutich

I have always thought that dyke was to Lesbians what c**t was to all women and n*gg*r was to Blacks. But then I see Lesbians use it and I’m confused. Where did it originate and isn’t it offensive?
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John: Homer, what have you got against gays?
Homer: You know! It’s not… usual. If there was a law, it’d be
against it!
Marge: Oh Homer, please! You’re embarrassing yourself.
Homer: No I’m not, Marge! They’re embarrassing me. They’re embarrassing
America. They turned the Navy into a floating joke. They ruined
all our best names like Bruce, and Lance, and Julian. Those were
the toughest names we had! Now they’re just, uh…
John: Queer?
Homer: Yeah, and that’s another thing! I resent you people using that
word. That’s our word for making fun of you! We need it!! Well
I’m taking back our word, and I’m taking back my son!
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Okay, I think we can begin by agreeing that the Simpson’s was an amazing show. Now back to the question on the table. First if anyone is shocked by seeing words written without asterisks then consider yourself warned.

So basically lesbians took back dyke. Gays took back queer. Feminists have taken back cunt. Black people have taken back nigger. British people took fag and used it, ridiculously enough, to talk about cigarettes (and just try to ask them what “fanny” means). And so on. The reappropriation of words is a great way to take the air out of a derogatory term. Also, Dykes on Bikes sounds much better than Lesbians riding Motorcycles.

That being said, if someone says it with anger and hatred, then it becomes offensive. It’s true that you can say other words with anger or hatred and be hurtful. For example, I am in a coffee shop and a couple just walked in with a crying baby. I could walk by them and call them, “breeders”, and we probably wouldn’t become fast friends. However, if I walked over and said, “your baby is retarded” then everyone in the coffee shop would stop, the music would grind to a halt, and an old woman would faint. Certain words just have more weight and punch. Whether it is because society agrees on what they consider shocking or taboo, or because the word comes along with over 200 years of slavery and oppression, or because any words referring to female genitalia are instantly considered more vulgar than words referring to male genitalia because people are terrified of vaginas. Also, for certain groups that are still marginalized in our society, the language that you use can suggest whether or not you are open and accepting. Language can be very important in ensuring that the group that you are a part of is taken seriously and has power. This is why women fought to not be called things like “girls” and “property”. So to be safe it is best to only use slang if you personally own it. If you are some straight white guy, then it is probably safest to only say, “I’m sorry”.